While I may seem like a moderate (somewhat conservative) white female, appearances should not let one assume social tendencies. I like a wide array of friends-not from one source. I prayed for years, that I would organically meet nice, safe, people from different backgrounds. Homogeneous friends do not teach me everything I need to know.
So, those nice people came and stayed through a nasty case of mono, and with the exception of a few, stuck around. Those also made up for lost time and a bewildering time of an autoimmune illness with symptoms all over the map. When I did not have charm and my one-liners, I retreated to my own space for physical and mental self preservation.
Lately, I have gone through a lot of my books, files, and pictures as they were scattered by space and time of interrupted efforts to clean by placing immediate priority on my own immediate needs. I am defined by my victories, not my losses-as I have literally beaten every challenge to date.
Some of those books, files, and pictures tell stories of difficult and challenging goals. I am somewhat smart, I guess-but many of my friends are far more clever. I do not think I am an "A" type personality, but I do know when I have to hustle.
Chronic illness morphed me into a grateful person. I know, beyond any reasonable or unreasonable thought process, that no one owes anyone else anything. After it was finally all fixed last September, I made a bucket list of things that were important to me in the next 50 years. My grandmother turns 90 this July, and I inherited many of her traits.
+ Go to mass and drink it in like beet juice. A weekly reminder that God is good all the time is my chosen centering anchor. (I owe my mom and dad for functioning as my therapists and their blessings.)
+ Have a closer relationship with my nuclear family. They have stood with me through unceasing health hell and will never stop.
+ Drink wine at least 3 times a week and eat chocolate. (Well, I am still working on this and the wine has to be put on hold sometimes.) I have Izze Blackberry juice as a substitute.
+ Pray for serendipity. I am a mental escape artist. It is a talent almost to a fault.
+ Change my Twitter feed algorithm. The world has gone mad.
+ Read "The Economist".
+ Be a better friend and for the love of God, be careful who you let in to your circle. It is definitely okay in a "world gone mad" to be selective.
+ React a little more quickly to my first instinct. To a fault, I am hesitant when I should not be. Sometimes, I do not want to confront what is actually happening.
+ Return kind acts with "Thank you" formalities.
+ Wholly trust God with all things good, but do your part. (This one is tough, especially after chronic illness for many years. I did beat it, with help.)
+ When danger appears, either scram or strategically escape. Tell another adult and defer if you must.
+ Recognize your limitations and accept them. (Sometimes, I scream "nooooooo" in my head.)
+ Suck it up Buttercup. God makes up the difference of where your lift does not have the power to remove obstacles.
+ Master's degree in a fun subject. (This one is on hold, for now.)
+ Take more cool pictures. Enjoy shutterbugging simple subjects.
+ Run, walk, army crawl for as far as you can go.
+ Take naps, and brag about them to other tired adults.
+ Learn to draw.
+ Be affectionate. It is the essence of life. (This week, I received 7 hugs, 2 were unsolicited, but safe.)
+ Stay close to female friends. (I learned this trick in undergrad. Guys process things differently.)
+ Take health seriously. (Tootsie rolls and Rice Krispy Treats do not make for an nutritious lunch, Erika.)
...more in subsequent blog posts.
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