Working on the gratitude tree for 2018 for a subsequent blog post, but this is a good start

This year is one for the books and strangely, the best year ever. It worked out and continues to work out. Hurdles got cleared, finish lines were crossed, sleepless nights from my scary summer of unwanted attention from a pop up jack in the box are over, and I am up and at em after three surgeries. The only thing remaining is my inability to sit, but I have strength to compensate for that and can stand. To my knowledge, my autoimmune crap is in remission due to my heeding the dangers of the poisonous gluten.

Thankfully, I am less ditzy. Well, except for the fact that I forgot to give something to my friend today because the conversation was so interesting. Our mutual friend introduced us about two summers ago when our faces melted off in the Texas heat. I am glad we stayed in contact. Her family is super cute.

My mom got some interesting phone calls from me. Several of them lasted 2 hours. The theme of those were, "I'm bsing my way through a swamp of sludge, asking five whys to get to a root cause and answer. Everything is vague and I cannot think on prescription medication but cannot survive without it." To her credit, she solved several of my dilemmas and stuck up for a few that I didn't think she would endorse.

All of the scripts are out of my hands and were legally ditched. Not being able to think independently is holy hell for me. My conservative parents instilled a healthy fear of illicit drugs and I was too afraid to try any of them. My friends used drugs, but I never partook. Based on my experience with the ones I needed this year, I am grateful that I will never have an addiction because, my stomach does not tolerate them and my brain does not either. My cast iron stomach's warranty is up.

Thank you Jesus, to infinity. There were days of this year's adventure where no words came out, tears fell for hours and I stared at walls without thought or answers. I hated fighting tears in front of people I did not know well. I could no longer run to relieve stress. My "walk 2018 miles" goal abruptly stopped this spring.

Due to physical health issues, I left my teaching internship and did something else. I doubt I will finish my ACP program as it is not worth my time, passing thoughts, or an ounce of my energy. (I passed my subject matter tests of English and ESL, but I will declare the entire thing a sunk cost and a learned lesson.) Something much more interesting and sustainable presented itself.

At the very beginning of this entire cold mess, I begged God not to put me through extreme physical and subsequent emotional fatigue. Wading through chronic illness and it's associated perils were sheer hell. Specifically, begged for: an end to isolation due to illness, stubborn and defensive driven autonomy, surrendering my independence, poverty of the pride swallowing sort from 2017, severe clinical depression, panic attacks. I prayed that I would be around the type of friends I had before I moved here, particularly the ones I had growing up in Northern Indiana. I prayed that trustworthy people would drop in my lap.

Please allow me to be my very own Miss Cleo. All the trustworthy characters are in place. The antagonists are gone. The plot will no longer thicken. The protagonist wins with all things from my ultimate protector. 2019 is mine as is this holiday season. I am grateful for this year. It honed my faith. Weekly, I get firm Melissa hugs. I love them! Tomorrow night, I get more hugs.

My last non-need wish is a far away vacation with my annoying cat around no one in a snowy cabin away from hungry bears.

Thank you, Tina for making this wreath for me!